Beginning...again.

Let's just say I started this site months ago.  I had a title.  The title was easy, it includes two words to convey two concepts.  Chaos.  That's what desperate moments in my day feel like, look like...sound like.  Most people would probably agree with me if they came to visit during those moments.  And then...quiet.  Shhhhh.  That quite frankly comes from my time with Jesus.  The quiet doesn't necessarily change the chaos going on inside my rather large family, but it does quiet my heart and bring perspective.  With this quiet I can embrace chaos, embrace the children causing the chaos...and learn from them.  Yes, God has taught me through my children.  Why? Because even though I'm 39-years-old, I'm still His child, and I have a lot of growing up to do myself.  So several months ago I set up this site, to journal the thoughts I am thinking as an outlet and the things I'm learning as a reminder.  But all I got down was the title.  I was pregnant with baby number 7, or actually number 10 if we're really counting.  We had just moved and had already been through quite a year.  Thoughts and words, but never really time. Then along came Joseph.  That sweet, sweet baby.  A couple days later came a diagnosis that we didn't see coming...that my baby can't see out of one of his beautiful eyes.  And as I hold this precious newborn, taking in everything I can (since quite possibly he will be our last newborn), I'm going to carve out some time.  Because I don't want to forget the things He is teaching me.  Because I want to embrace where He has me right now. Yes, that includes the stretch marks of well over 5 years of pregnancy and soreness from my recent delivery, the exhaustion from a newborn nursing schedule, 7 growing children who steal my heart and energy every day, and tons of life bursting all around me--beautiful, ugly, all of it.  I want to see--really SEE from His perspective...and so I will begin with the letter I typed to our family a week ago.